Affinage – learn now or SUFFER!

Thanks to another round of outstanding journalism from The New York Times, the issue is finally – shall we say? – OUT.

Affinage. Pro? Con? And if you don’t know, you’d better read this or suffer paying couture prices for Goodwill tatter. Or worse…

It’s a shame, really.

Just when some of us are finally making the transition, rejecting our deeply trenched fears and braving forward with only one small, bright hope burning in our breast – that perhaps, just maybe, the only true way to control our appetite for cheese is to actually EAT cheese…not the faux rubbery chemical processed imposter we’ve been shoving down our gullets, but real cheese made with real milk and human hands and love and care and attention…that perhaps, just maybe, if we truly wanted to get a handle on this once and for all, we’d admit we are WORTHY of the real thing and force ourselves to break the habit, step out of the routine unconscious nosh-n-slosh and actually choose to buy only REAL CHEESE for our consumption…that somehow, just maybe, if we drive away from the mega-market all the way to the cheese shop and pick out something that – in our still fragile state – seems to cost way more than we could ever justify explaining, to ourself, let alone others, and take it home and just…be with it…and see that we can do so much more than CONSUME cheese, but can actually eat, enjoy, savor, share it – as soon as we have crossed that tenuous bridge, we will inevitably meet trolls bent on sending us right back from whence we came.

This version comes in the sneaky form of high-end cheese disguising itself as a value against over-inflated pricing. Says an affinage is just an excuse to charge you more. And the cheese is cheaper.

But put down that Emmenthaler right now and read to the end!…The proof is always in the pudding, and his pudding turns out to be not so much pudding at all.

Okay. I’m hungry. I’m not making much sense. Just read it all the way through. If you decide to finally take the leap of faith and try real cheese, better make sure you know who you’re buying from.

Ask about affinage. For your own safety. Lest you drown your savings on something not up to par and think “what’s the use?” and roll head-first right back where you started, feet up on the desk, eating cheez-wiz straight from the can, scrolling through slick pizza chain commercials just to rewind the artificial mozarella cheese-pull shots over and over at a pornographic rate.

Like you don’t know what I’m talking about…

Affinage. It’s for your own good. Learn it. Know it. Ask for it.


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