you know you’ve got a reputation when

You don’t hear from a friend for a year, then they send you:

Subject: I haz cheez
Saint Nectaire (Cow) from France
Manchego (Ewe) from Spain
Comte (Cow) from France
Gouda, 36 months old (Cow) from the Netherlands
Mothais sur Feuille (Goat) from France
For some reason, my brother thought a cheese platter from France would make a good birthday present. All this cheese just makes me think of you. Hope you are doing well.
Thomas

I’m like…wha’ the f**k? No, “hey, how are you doing, it’s been too long,” or “hey, got some nice cheese here, would you like some?” Just shoot for the jugular why don’t you – “All this cheese just makes me think of you. Hope you are doing well.”

For the record, yeah, I’m doin’ just friggin fine. Just because I forgot your birthday – SORRY! – no need to rub it in already. No need to tell me all about YOUR cheese…I don’t NEED any, if that’s what you’re implying. I mean, does a junkie need a needle? Glad to hear your brother’s in with the French and all and…

DAMN! Did you say 36 month Gouda? Damndamndamndamndamn…where the hell did I put his number…

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