Ok, okay, I know it’s been a while. Like you’ve never had YOUR cable disconnected due to some horrible credit card slip-up miscommunication thingy with “this is not my charge, ma’am. No, I did not order a four pound wheel of herb-rind Camembert…wha? You have my signature? Um, wait, um…wait!”
I missed the Olympics. (Yes, I have friends, but I was a little BUSY – wouldn’t you say? – with a four-pounder under wraps, to be gallivanting all over town in search of a set.) So it goes without saying that I missed Lindsey Vonn’s historic marker in bringing cheese back to the Olympic Games.
You heard me right. “…back.” Oh come on people…right there in Chapter 10:
The History of Cheese
“776 B.C.: Cheesecake fed to athletes of the Olympic Games in ancient Greece. Romans thereupon pilfer cheesecake and spread it all over Europe.” Ergo, subsequent rise and decline of Western civilization.
YES, she was making cheesecake back in her room – duh! – like many, many cheese addicts before her. Can’t go around just eating everything out in public now can we? Gotta make sure you know what’s going INTO the cheesecake.
And if suspicions are raised, just tell them you were wrapping your injured shin in Austrian topfen curd cheese. That’s right. Just keep repeating it, interview after interview, and after a while, no one will think twice.
“I put cheese on it to try to take the swelling out. Basically, I’m doing anything I can.”
Right there with ya, sister…we are ALL right there with you…